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(Aching For) Exhaustive Arterial Rush

from Guilt Is My Hill of Penance by Stella de Ville

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lyrics

I follow you viciously into the gate
I walk with conviction
There’s no escape
And it’s a part of your mission, me blinded alone
No tight restriction of the body, but the mind pulls me on
And it’s not
Bright enough
Loud enough for my self preservation to glean
You’re really not a bad sign
I just find no omen’s preventative at all for me
I float animatedly into your storm
My wisdom belatedly gives alarm
“Follow me into the devil’s gate” offered in hush
I greet mortality with patience
I accept the hand of god
And now here we are
Bloody moon dimly casting the path to the portal in red
The prophecy showed me far
Years ago to this moment to illustrate embracing death
I’m in its arms now
Consumed so totally by its shroud
I wouldn’t know where start clawing free
But I’d never tap out
And still the universe shows me how
Aching for exhaustive arterial rush
I’m summoned into the dome of the destruction
“Follow me into the devil’s gate” offered in hush
Crippling to your sacred mouth for initiation
I’m too far
Too involved in this moment to heed what lurks deep in my mind
That’s really not who we are
If you wanted me slaughtered I’d no longer be alive
And I know you must love me
You didn’t kill me in my sleep
Intrusive murder fear fantasies
And a plea
Sickly desire for their physical manifestation
Physically manifest
I’m here to physically manifest
To physically manifest
I metaphysically manifest
That’s not who we are
Hurl into the jaw
I’m here to appease you
Not what we are
You know I’ve made it this far
Now don’t make me leave you
That’s not (physically manifest) who we are
Hurl into the jaw
(I’m here to physically manifest)
I’m here to appease you
And that’s not (to physically manifest) what we are
You know I’ve made it this far
(I’m here to physically manifest)
Now don’t make me leave you
Okay

credits

from Guilt Is My Hill of Penance, released November 22, 2022

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Stella de Ville Los Angeles, California

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